My posts are usually pretty superficial and I don’t share anything more private than a kiss to my son or to my handsome Morgan. But today something changed and I want to tell you about it.
When I get dressed this morning I started, like every single morning, to repeat to myself how fat I am, how disgusting my body is, how flappy my belly is, how unattractive and not sexy I am…and so on.
And you know what? I am pretty tired of it, because it hurts.
It hurts and it breaks me to pieces.
It hurts so much, to never ever feel fine in your own body.
I wish I was stronger and not care about other people’s (and, in first place, mine) judgement.
I wish I was one of those girls who don’t give a fu*k and just do their things anyway.
Like Sarah Dahlström. I have been following her and her inspirational account for months now and I have to tell you: SHE IS A BADASS.
Life hasn’t always been sweet to her and still here she is, speaking up for every woman’s right to feel beautiful indipendently by their body shapes and forms!
Or like Cassandra Klatzkow, beautiful venus in size plus! Sexy and elegant all the time, she is divine!
I wish I could say I am not influenced by what I see all the time on my social media feeds.
I wish I could say I don’t envy those goddesses dressed in mini-bikini posing in acrobatic yoga poses.
Or those top models, portrayed as heavily pregnant when, to me, they seem just a little bit bloated.
Celebrities and personal trainers, ”no I don’t want my jelly belly to be flat like yours…”
Unfortunately it is not like this and I have to come peace with myself and accept that I will never look like that in my life
(Självklart! Of course! If i eat all those biscuits at work and barely training, what to expect?)
But what I can – and WILL – do is to stop suffering.
Suffering for not being what i wish I looked like. I want to accept myself and body for what I am!
So, today I feel pretty inspired and I decided to change my morning routine and try see what is beautiful in me. My morning mantras will no longer be ”my belly is a disgusting and I am a fat rat” .
From now on my morning mantras will be like ”my belly is a cozy pillow for my son”. Or ”my belly keeps me warm in cold Swedish winter”. ”my belly makes me happy”. “my belly is beautiful and I know it“…
I LOVE YOU, JELLY BELLY!